One of today’s matches:
Is sporting a wedding ring in his picture. Um…yeah, time for some more recent photos dude.
notes for fellas: don’t take a month to ask a girl on a date
Remeber awhile back I posted about a guy who looks like Hardy of Laurel and Hardy? He seemed nice enough, if not a little old fashioned. Well he’s one of the never gonna be’s I’ve encountered in online dating…
Why’s that? Well, he contacted me around the same time that Super Guido did, maybe even a week or 2 prior. And we still haven’t met, and only spoken on the phone once. I think he was nervous, but after 4 weeks of emails (to which he’d take a few days to respond), I’m bored. And over it. Maybe it’s wrong on my part but…5 weeks of trying to ask & then plan a first meeting, and then when he did, I had to drive farther than he to said meeting. Um, no thanks. I’ve already forgotten you existed and going deep into Nassau county as you suggested, ain’t for me. You’re 32 y/o, time to man up a bit.
Next.
Not again!
Eharm matched me with a dude who I was matched with back in 2010 when I was on the site. In dudes being more pathetic than me, he had the same pic as he did back then. And if he looks anything like what he did 2 years ago, it’s NOTHING like his profile picture.
Back then there was a thin guy with a tight haircut for a profile pic, and a secondary photo of a larger guy with crazy hair & sunglasses.
The weight didn’t bother me, it was the fact that I didn’t know which guy I was talking to!
We went on one date & it was the larger guy with the unkempt hair that I met, and he insulted my profession then asked me what kind of a wedding I wanted, and told me he walked marathons.
He started communication with me before I could avoid him, so I just closed the match. Let’s not go back down the rabbit hole with this dude…
eHarm sent me the most perfect match, but he’s in Jersey.
I sent him a message but he hasn’t responded of course lol. Also, he went to Virginia Tech so my first thought was, ‘I wonder if Kim knows him?’
hahaha
In which I’m a piece of shit
So, I meant to text the musician in advance & tell him I didn’t want to meet him on Sunday. I had the best of intentions. But there was a lot of stuff going on this past weekend (& I didn’t really hear from him after that awful phone call anyway…)
So I text him the day of, hours in advance at least, and I’m firm and direct. Because I thought that if I wasn’t it wouldn’t be interpreted seriously…
Well the dude was so not happy that he called me a piece of shit & said he’ll give me something to write about & that I’m not actually open to meeting anyone.
I’m hoping the ‘give me something to write about’ was just calling me a POS. Also, in the words of the great Kayt, a book where I meet no one, only talk to them on the phone a few times, and die alone….who’d buy that book?
Who even said I was writing a book, anything I have written hasn’t been in any sort of seriousness.
So, yeah. Glad I trusted my gut when it said, you don’t actually want to meet this guy. I’m hoping the 3 nasty texts I got were the end of the threat, sheesh!
So the Saturday night guy was leaving LI on Monday morning. In an effort to live out Bold Moves 2012, I asked him if I could take him to breakfast before he left (I normally don’t work until 12 on Mondays).
He was enthusiastic about this prospect. We were able to keep up a decent conversation at the diner, though he again asked me several times if I’d want to see him again…& didn’t even kiss me on the cheek.
I’d see him again if we can negotiate our schedules but…the lack of confidence is a bit of a turnoff. He’ll have to plan his own date & stuff, prove he can man-up a bit… He has kept up texting me during the week, but we haven’t had much to talk about. We’ll see if this fizzles/fades or if it’ll surprise me…
Last weekend’s dates…
Not sure why it took me this long to write about ‘em but here goes:
Saturday night guy-
Originally from LI, now living an hour from Bridgeport. Tall, dark hair, bright blue eyes…& doesn’t wear jeans, so he was rocking dress pants, shoes & a polo for our date. Acquired a bit of an accent from college/life off the island. Basically, Traveler but less complicated & actually into me. This guy was nervous, & I basically picked the date-spot…it was major windy or we’d have had a nice walk by the water.
He told me how at someone’s Sweet 16 he grabbed the mic & serenaded his crush with a BSB song; pretty sure BSB wasn’t cool by the time we were juniors in HS (we’re the same age), but props for trying?
The date ended kind of early, because he was nervous. Which kinda stunk b/c he’s on the continent & I’m not sure when I’d get to see him again….
Sunday night guy-
All he talked about was college. Nice guy but not for me…which was fantastic when I meant to text my BFF basically that same info & accidentally sent it to him.
Fail!
& I thought I was awkward…
so one of the guys I was matched with is 34, decent job, nice boy from a nice sorta old school Italian family. The kind of Italian my grandmother would have wept tears of joy over, not the GTL kind. (My dad’s mom used to tell my brother & me we were only Italian, which is such a lie. She was a pisser..fucking Alzheimer’s.)
Anyway. We go through all the eharm stuff, and then email a few times. He then asks if I’d like to speak on the phone. He establishes when would be a good time to call, calls when he says he will. We conversate for about an hour, he asks if he can call in 2 more days. We speak for about a half hour, and then he asks me out for a dinner date. (Gentlemen, please take note!)
The only problem is…on the phone and in person…he apologizes for being awkward. He must have done it 4x in the hour and 15min we were in the restaurant. I would see him again, and I will if he asks me out, but…homeboy needs to not be quite so nervous!!
Also, some of his pictures are rather um, un-attractive. In person he’s actually adorable. Would it be rude if I mentioned he should take down certain pics? They just make him look ridic over-weight and old man-ish when he’s not!
still queen of the awkward moment.
My latest foray back into the world of online dating has resulted in not one but several awkward dates. The first one ill tell ya about is the sales guy who was not a fan of speaking on the phone (I asked him if he wanted to talk for a bit instead of text and his response was “I’m not very good on the phone, just so you’re warned.”)
Umm…you’ve supposedly got a pretty damn good position in sales, you probably had to start out with some sort of cold-calling to get to where you’re at, are you serious?
The phone call was decent, but our schedules are a bit crazy so we decide to meet for Sunday brunch (at first he suggested in his town, but I said perhaps near where I work since I had to clock in at noon, but if I hadn’t I would have been fine with something more half-way, perhaps). My past dating experience has taught me that if I have I make too much of an effort in the beginning, he’s probably not worth my time so it set my radar off a bit.
So, that particular Sunday morning I was staying at my best friend’s new home after her and her husband’s hosewarming. I woke up with the puppy, decided to head home (we’d gotten snow and I wasn’t sure what kind of a cleanup job my landlords had done, if they’d done anything). I came home to a decent job of shoveling but still needed to layer some rock salt down and then napped for an hour, got myself ready and left at 10:10, arriving at 10:27. Our plan was to meet at 10:30.
Before I arrived he texted to say he was running a few min late. Then at 10:30 he said his GPS was all messed up and he was going to be 15min late. Apologies ensued and I was cool about it. He ended up being 40min late. On the flip side, I was in the town I’d be working in, do I turn around and go home for 20min and then come back? Waste of gas. So I organized my purse and utilized the eHarm iPhone app. lol. (and words with friends!)
We manage to score a table inside the place no problem, and he orders an alcoholic beverage. I have to work so no alcohol, I ask for a tea. (This brunch spot has THE biggest cups of tea, it’s heavenly). We order food. A basket of muffins is brought to us, abd when i pass he asks if I’m watching my carbs with a shitty grin. I should have asked him if he thought hebwasvNapolean Dynamite but i didn’t. Otherwise the conversation isn’t bad, except he talks a bit too much, and mentions he’s hungover and left his condo at 10:15. He lives quite a bit farther away then I do…and it made me a teensy bit annoyed. There’s no way he’d make it in 20min…maybe 30 w/o traffic. He was going to cancel but I “seem so sweet.” Ok…
He mentioned he spent a week in France, and I said oh I’ve been too! He looked at my skeptically lol, and then told me about his friend whose mother is from France, they have a home by the sea in southern France, it sounded amazing. He also mentioned he’ll be going to Germany this year, and was obviously gauging my reaction when he said his friends demanded he come, and any girlfriend would have to be understanding that he’d made the plans when he was single.
“Of course you should go!” I said. I sure as shit would never make plans like that and then worry about what a future significant other would say-either I go or I still go and they can fuck off. I didn’t say that to him, but it was interesting to see that he was waiting for my reaction.
Our food took awhile, to the point that by the time it arrived, I had a few bites and then had to leave. “Sorry to dine and dash,” I said, but I had about 10min to drive up to work and clock in. He sent several apologetic text messages, and mentioned that he’d taken my french toast home with him, to which I responded that it was the perfect hangover cure.
He texted the next night to say he’d like to get drinks one night after work, but nothing specific in mind. I responded that it sounded cool, and left it at that. I guess he was waiting for me to jump in but I didn’t want to make it so easy for him when he’d kinda messed up already but then that was all I heard from him.my online dating choice…
What made you choose eHarm? Curious. One of my friends met a great guy on there but I have heard mixed reviews.
Hey there, thanks for the question (it’s not the only one I’ve received, my apologies!These 12hour work days are really starting to kick my ass).
Well, having done a few of them in the past…I have to say that eHarm is more my speed. I work a lot, including 3 nights until 9pm minimum every week. This cuts out time for dating, as most people meet up after work, and also by the time I get out of work, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a computer searching through hordes of profiles. As @dailykayla so eloquently put it, I just want to drink wine and watch my shows when I get home! lol
eHarm sends about 6-ish matches each day (you can request more sometimes), and I can handle looking at that number of profiles. 20+ is just too much like work for me at this point in my life.
Also, it was relatively cheap for 6months when I looked into it so I figured if I was going to do it…might as well save myself some dough. I paid $100 for 6months which I think is reasonable seeing as some sites are like $30/month-range. Like I said, if nothing else, tumblr will be able to belly laugh along with me as I continue to be the queen of the awkward moment.
